Author Topic: Chanson d'Automne  (Read 521 times)

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francoisfj

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Chanson d'Automne
« on: April 04, 2020, 07:08:10 AM »
Hello, this is one of my few completed works, it's a setting of a poem by Paul Verlaine, called Chanson d'Automne, for piano and voice. I might submit the piece somewhere, so if there's any adjustments or suggestions on the piece or notation, I'd greatly appreciate feedback :)

Thanks,

François

Update:

Here is the translation of the poem to english, by Richard Stokes :)

"Autumn Song"

With long sobs
The violins
Of autumn
Wound my heart
With languorous
Monotony.

All choking
And pale, when
The hour sounds,
I remember
Departed days
And I weep;

And I go
Where ill winds blow,
Buffeted
To and fro,
Like a
Dead leaf.

Translation © Richard Stokes, from A French Song Companion (Oxford, 2000)


« Last Edit: April 04, 2020, 10:06:01 AM by francoisfj »

mjf1947

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Re: Chanson d'Automne
« Reply #1 on: April 04, 2020, 07:35:48 AM »
Please post the translation ... although I do understand the intent.

You have a lovely "expressionistic" soul and definitely you have a personal voice that sings out.

The clarinet is so perfect for the voice line with its soulful tone.

The piano accompaniment  fits alike a glove; although, I wonder as it thickens with the clarinet about measure 21 on ... if the work loses a bit of languidness -

Mark

francoisfj

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Re: Chanson d'Automne
« Reply #2 on: April 04, 2020, 07:51:44 AM »
Please post the translation ... although I do understand the intent.

You have a lovely "expressionistic" soul and definitely you have a personal voice that sings out.

The clarinet is so perfect for the voice line with its soulful tone.

The piano accompaniment  fits alike a glove; although, I wonder as it thickens with the clarinet about measure 21 on ... if the work loses a bit of languidness -

Mark

Thank you for the kind words and the feedback! I'm glad you liked it. I was actually torn up with the part you are mentioning around measure 21, I use 6th intervals there (if that's their proper name) and they seem to give some vitality, I'm not completely decided if that's what I want or not for this part. I think I'll think it over.

Here is the translation of the poem to english, by Richard Stokes :)

"Autumn Song"

With long sobs
The violins
Of autumn
Wound my heart
With languorous
Monotony.

All choking
And pale, when
The hour sounds,
I remember
Departed days
And I weep;

And I go
Where ill winds blow,
Buffeted
To and fro,
Like a
Dead leaf.

Translation © Richard Stokes, from A French Song Companion (Oxford, 2000)

Jerry Engelbach

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Re: Chanson d'Automne
« Reply #3 on: April 04, 2020, 12:29:06 PM »
Francois,
 
You have a nice lyrical sense.
 
However, with respect to this poem, the words seems to offer more opportunity for drama than you have employed in the setting.
 
The dead leaf is being buffeted, which would make it move uncontrollably in different directions.
 
Even "choking and pale" seems to offer the chance for more tension.
 
Cheers,
Jer
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francoisfj

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Re: Chanson d'Automne
« Reply #4 on: April 04, 2020, 04:28:40 PM »
Francois,
 
You have a nice lyrical sense.
 
However, with respect to this poem, the words seems to offer more opportunity for drama than you have employed in the setting.
 
The dead leaf is being buffeted, which would make it move uncontrollably in different directions.
 
Even "choking and pale" seems to offer the chance for more tension.
 
Cheers,
Jer

Thanks for the comment :) I see what you mean, I could probably work on that in future works.