Author Topic: Septet  (Read 4010 times)

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Patrick O'Keefe

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Re: Septet
« Reply #30 on: December 23, 2019, 03:48:30 PM »
I think it's time I call this work "completed" ... even though I change the coda of the 3rd movement several times a day.  I'll start a new thread in the "Completed" sub-forum in case anybody has more comments to make.

Patrick O'Keefe

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Re: Septet
« Reply #31 on: January 04, 2020, 04:58:41 PM »
I've moved the discussion back here because I'm reworking the 1st movement.  I've hopefully made the middle section more concise and less rambling.   The links in the start of the thread now point to the most recent version.

mjf1947

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Re: Septet
« Reply #32 on: January 05, 2020, 07:32:00 AM »
Patrick ....

I know you have worked really long and hard on the 1st movement. 

So it is with great trepidation I offer my review.

First - the mid-section at letter D is very engaging and clever.  It strongly held my interest.

However, I kept wanting the initial material and contrasting section at B to develop further.

For me - the music theme needed to move  on/build (harmonically/thematically) - to a high point/climax.

There is a "circular" feel to those sections.

Please note = My observations in no way subtracts from a very ambitious and well crafted work.  The 2nd and 3rd movements won me over big time.

Mark

 





« Last Edit: January 05, 2020, 07:35:22 AM by mjf1947 »

whitebark

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Re: Septet
« Reply #33 on: January 05, 2020, 12:07:05 PM »
Patrick, your revised first movement sounds quite different in the development section, although I haven't done a strict comparison with the older version. From my quick listen, the development section does sound more organized than before.  The "soft" transition from the development section to the recap is unusual but effective. I'll give the piece another listen soon.

Jay

Patrick O'Keefe

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Re: Septet
« Reply #34 on: January 06, 2020, 12:37:49 PM »
... I kept wanting the initial material and contrasting section at B to develop further.
This prompted me to make a fairly significant change ... but not necessarily in the direction you suggested.

Some background:
Even though this movement is very loosely sonata form (with the order in the recapitulation reversed), the material in the "development section" doesn't use material from the exposition.  Instead, everything in the moment is based on motifs from the introduction - mostly from the 1st 3 measures.  The development was originally a contrapuntal treatment of some themes built on those motifs.  Originally it was 3 fugatos, but that had changed by the time I had posted anything here. (The material at D is still a fugal exposition presented twice with some material from the introduction between them as punctuation.  The subject is derived from the 1st measure of the introduction.)  While the development does not directly use the material from the A section, it treats the motific material in a similar fashion.  I didn't think the material from the B section lent itself to this kind of treatment so it appeared in just the exposition and recapitulation. 

You suggestion of using material from the B section prompted me to rethink all this.  While I don't directly use the material, I've now got some material (at rehearsal mark E) that is (initially) in a similar mood.  But that material wouldn't let go of me and kept growing.  It eventually morphs into something more in the mood of the last movement, alternates with material from the old last fugato section until G where it is back to old material.  (I could probably eliminate the material at G altogether and skip to H, but I'm pretty attached to that material.)

Anyway, the middle section of the movement has now feels quite different.  More work is needed, but I like the direction it's going now.

Patrick O'Keefe

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Re: Septet
« Reply #35 on: January 06, 2020, 03:42:23 PM »
On the "completed" forum, Jay said

Are you still working on the coda to the third movement of the Septet?  The ending is a tad abrupt, so adding a slight extension to the ending might make things more satisfying. You could just repeat material in the existing final measure for a one or two more measures (with increasing intensity) before ending with the final strong chord that you have now. The listener will know that things are coming to and end.
I am still working on the coda ('though I haven't touched it for a few days).  At the very least I need to lengthen it by half a measure so it ends on beat 1.  I'll see what else I might do to it.

In the second movement, I've already noted the long arch-like increase and decrease in intensity that provides structure to the piece.    Marking the climax point with some sort of musical event might tighten things up.
No promises but I'll see if I think it needs anything.  At the very least it needs some work on the score.  I really need to change where I indicate the tempo change.  I may ask for guidance on the Notation forum.

Patrick O'Keefe

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Re: Septet
« Reply #36 on: January 07, 2020, 04:36:56 PM »
I've created an alternative a new version of the 1st movement.  (I'm not sure I want to replace the "real" version with this yet.) I've deleted the section that had been at rehearsal mark D.  I really like that material, but I think the movement is better without it.
Comments?

Alternate Mvmt I score: https://app.box.com/s/n6n03htwbx6lyhgh6q215vzourjvzsd1
Alternate Mvmt I audio: https://app.box.com/s/ag8vrombsyfl2bs00gt9qz4k4d7ve4ln


I have replaced the original 1st movement with what had been "alternate".
« Last Edit: January 22, 2020, 04:09:43 PM by Patrick O'Keefe »

Patrick O'Keefe

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Re: Septet
« Reply #37 on: January 22, 2020, 04:11:53 PM »
Back to the "Completed" forum.  I think the piece is as done as it's going to get ... except for score cleanup, of course.