Author Topic: Clouds Walk on the Moon - Oboe and Piano  (Read 210 times)

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mjf1947

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Clouds Walk on the Moon - Oboe and Piano
« on: March 12, 2019, 02:07:15 PM »
Here's another work done many many "moons" ago.  ;)

The original work was very bloated.  :P

So here is an edited version with a couple of tweaks along the way.  :angel:

Comments appreciated.  ;D

Mark

RJB54

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Re: Clouds Walk on the Moon - Oboe and Piano
« Reply #1 on: March 13, 2019, 06:51:05 AM »
A pleasant little piece.

I think you should consider reworking this with more elaborate harmonies in the piano part. Throughout I was feeling that this could make a nice impressionist piece with juicy 11th and 13th chords in the piano.
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mjf1947

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Re: Clouds Walk on the Moon - Oboe and Piano
« Reply #2 on: March 13, 2019, 10:44:12 AM »
Thanks for the review.  Interesting suggestion .....  I didn't think of this piece as "impressionistic" although there are definitely moments that emanate such a feeling.

I have attached some changes I made to the closing of the piece.

I beefed up some parts and again deleted a measure for better flow.

Mark

PS: I started to play with the "juicy" 11th and 13th chords .. it does enhance the work.
« Last Edit: March 13, 2019, 10:58:34 AM by mjf1947 »

Jerry Engelbach

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Re: Clouds Walk on the Moon - Oboe and Piano
« Reply #3 on: March 13, 2019, 11:24:02 AM »
I think it's terrific, Mark.
 
I was going to suggest that perhaps the return to the main theme at bar 36 could use more preparation.
 
But I see now from your attachment that you've relegated it to the left hand of the piano, so I'm not so sure.
 
Cheers,
Jer
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mjf1947

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Re: Clouds Walk on the Moon - Oboe and Piano
« Reply #4 on: March 13, 2019, 12:07:15 PM »
Jer,

I did lots of editing with the piece .... and there was a return to the initial opening theme in more than one position in the composition.

The result was a loss of impact .... I did away with them.

Thanks for the review.  8)

amdg

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Re: Clouds Walk on the Moon - Oboe and Piano
« Reply #5 on: March 14, 2019, 08:21:14 AM »
A charming piece, Mark.  I thought the overall flow was quite good.  Robert's and Jer's suggestions look like they would yield some good results, and I will be curious to see what you can do with them.

Brian

mjf1947

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Re: Clouds Walk on the Moon - Oboe and Piano
« Reply #6 on: March 14, 2019, 01:13:56 PM »
I think it's terrific, Mark.
 
I was going to suggest that perhaps the return to the main theme at bar 36 could use more preparation.
 
But I see now from your attachment that you've relegated it to the left hand of the piano, so I'm not so sure.
 
Cheers,
Jer

I took your advice ,,,,

Mark

Jerry Engelbach

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Re: Clouds Walk on the Moon - Oboe and Piano
« Reply #7 on: March 15, 2019, 11:16:34 AM »
It's beautiful theme.
 
Cheers,
Jer
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Patrick O'Keefe

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Re: Clouds Walk on the Moon - Oboe and Piano
« Reply #8 on: April 02, 2019, 02:59:55 PM »
I've been away from the forum and am trying to catch up - going back and listening and looking at things I've missed.  This one I just have to stop and comment on.  What a great little piece!  Is it complete now, or are you still working on it?  There's a lot of potential there - either for a longer piece of for additional movements.

Michel.R.E

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Re: Clouds Walk on the Moon - Oboe and Piano
« Reply #9 on: Today at 07:38:51 AM »
I'm just going to comment on the piano part, for now.

Consider moving some of the material up an octave or two. Right now the piano part's range is extremely limited, all within the space of the grand staff.

How about moving both hands up into treble clef?  for example measures 25 and 27 could have both hands up (the left hand up two octaves, the right hand up one octave)
That sort of thing. just to break from the "right hand in this range, left hand in that range" pattern.

I see a bunch of spots that could benefit from some range changes, or removal of octave doubling, or both.
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