Author Topic: El Circo de Ninos  (Read 346 times)

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mjf1947

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El Circo de Ninos
« on: July 11, 2018, 12:53:49 PM »
Hi ... Here is my 3rd orchestra project.

Please note this is NOT a finished representation.  It's a bunch of stuff throw on "The Wall":o

(A slight exaggeration)...... ;D

Much work still to be done ... this is a big project. 

Mark

https://app.box.com/s/le0249osmpzsuwetbjor53vgw3d9ayca  pdf

https://app.box.com/s/20xb22hofrl5q08fq57z90bcgp6m1bl3   mp3
« Last Edit: July 12, 2018, 06:31:00 AM by mjf1947 »

Jerry Engelbach

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Re: El Circo de Ninos
« Reply #1 on: July 11, 2018, 06:00:51 PM »
Mark,
 
Wit runs high on this site, and your latest is no exception.
 
Perhaps a bit more variety, especially in the dynamics. Some parts of the orchestration sound a bit muddy, but that may be a limitation of the software.
 
You have a nice kernal there with the themes and syncopated rhythms.
 
Cheers,
Jer
Finale 25
GPO 5
iMac El Capitan

mjf1947

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Re: El Circo de Ninos
« Reply #2 on: July 12, 2018, 07:23:28 AM »
Jer,

Thanks for the look.......The idea behind this - is a group of children playing a circus procession.

Can you tell what they are pretending?

As I said a beginning sketch ..... dynamics ... harmonic/texture/color to be developed.

Mark

gogreen

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Re: El Circo de Ninos
« Reply #3 on: July 13, 2018, 05:45:26 AM »
Mark: There are some lovely themes and colors to develop here. I liked it. Shouldn't the initial key signature be three sharps (A major) and at 50, 2 flats, and at 113 back to three sharps? I found the ensuing enharmonics confusing.

mjf1947

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Re: El Circo de Ninos
« Reply #4 on: July 13, 2018, 11:28:40 AM »
Mark: There are some lovely themes and colors to develop here. I liked it. Shouldn't the initial key signature be three sharps (A major) and at 50, 2 flats, and at 113 back to three sharps? I found the ensuing enharmonics confusing.

Thanks for the review and ... yes, yes, and yes. 

I'll fix the key signatures .... thanks again Art.  :angel:

You know I just throw it out first for better or worse ... and then work backwards. 

Mark

whitebark

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Re: El Circo de Ninos
« Reply #5 on: July 13, 2018, 02:42:59 PM »
Mark, as other have said, you have created some nice themes to develop further. If you want to evoke the feeling of children, you certainly want the orchestration to be light and lively. Your initial circus march theme is a touch plodding right now...sounds like walking elephants, not children. But that could be fixed with a more elaborate orchestration. What does the arabian-sounding central section intended to evoke? Careful with that, the "arabian" sound could feel a bit hackneyed.

J

whitebark

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Re: El Circo de Ninos
« Reply #6 on: July 13, 2018, 03:06:46 PM »
Being a double bass player, I just had to take a look at the bass part in your score. I saw what looked like unplayable low notes in it, but then I realized you hadn't done the usual octave transposition for the bass part. It is normal to transpose the bass part up an octave in a score.

-J

mjf1947

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Re: El Circo de Ninos
« Reply #7 on: July 13, 2018, 03:48:31 PM »
Mark, as other have said, you have created some nice themes to develop further. If you want to evoke the feeling of children, you certainly want the orchestration to be light and lively. Your initial circus march theme is a touch plodding right now...sounds like walking elephants, not children. But that could be fixed with a more elaborate orchestration. What does the arabian-sounding central section intended to evoke? Careful with that, the "arabian" sound could feel a bit hackneyed.

J

Jer,

I agree ... the beginning procession tempo is a bit slow .... the orchestration is also heavily doubled - the chord construction/structure needs work.  The "Arabian Theme" is my mind's eye is more of a combination with an "Oriental One" .... I see lots of dancing veiled girls with (bells on their ankles?) - and make believe exotic animals -  snakes etc. 

I am thinking about a trapeze/aerial theme but I am haven't had success as yet with the thematic material and orchestration.

Thanks for the feedback.

Mark

PS:  Changed the tempos ....  a bit faster in sections.  Looking to create more clarity(strings) in the second theme.  Key signatures also fixed as per Art.

« Last Edit: July 13, 2018, 05:40:36 PM by mjf1947 »

Jerry Engelbach

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Re: El Circo de Ninos
« Reply #8 on: July 14, 2018, 10:57:51 AM »
I know you meant Jay, not Jer.
 
Cheers,
Jer
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