Author Topic: Adagio  (Read 717 times)

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mjf1947

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Adagio
« on: June 12, 2018, 03:19:38 PM »
Here's an idea ... I been playing with a bit.

It's rough first draft with incomplete (not quite so happy) score as yet.

But I am putting it out here for some feedback.

Mark

PS:  Michel and all - Thanks for the feedback!  ;D
« Last Edit: June 15, 2018, 10:48:01 AM by mjf1947 »

Michel.R.E

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Re: Adagio
« Reply #1 on: June 13, 2018, 06:59:06 AM »
Don't think of all of your instruments as "melodic" all the time.
There's a temptation to always seek out melodic lines for every single instrument, but this isn't the best orchestration. The end result is often very thin, despite the size of the orchestra.

For example, your woodwinds come in pairs, use them in pairs, either a 3rd apart, or a 6th, or whatever interval fits the harmony you've set out for yourself. Mix and match the woodwinds: two flutes and an oboe, or two flutes and two clarinets together as a 4-part choir, don't forget to use your bassoons as something OTHER than bass instruments (they are not technically "bass" instruments, but rather tenor/baritone, and as such are quite suited to playing relatively high in their register and blending well with upper instruments)

You have 4 horns, use them sometimes as a harmonic structure upon which the rest of the orchestra sits.
The same can be done with the strings: pulsing chords, interweaving figures, arpeggiated motifs, etc...

also remember that in theory you have 2 or 3 trombones there, as well as 2-3 trumpets.
"Writing music to be revolutionary is like cooking to be famous: Music’s main function is not revolution. – Alan Belkin "

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sandalwood

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Re: Adagio
« Reply #2 on: June 13, 2018, 10:18:15 AM »
In many of your recent works I keep finding your strings writing pleasing, this piece included. However, I agree Michel  that use of some figures/patterns in strings and greater use of mostly tacit winds to obtain a fuller, more lush sound at selected passages could enhance the overall feel. 

Particularly, I find the passage starting at 00:27 where the  brass respond to the strings  a bit weak/not effective enough. Also, I'm not happy with the percussion :).

Do you plan to make this a lone-wolf adagio?

whitebark

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Re: Adagio
« Reply #3 on: June 13, 2018, 03:16:50 PM »
I enjoyed your adagio, and I think it is worth expanding into a finished piece. Your harmonic procedures work to give it an elegiac, a bit funereal feeling.  The percussion in the central section evokes music that might be used in a military funeral -is that what you intended?

-Jay

mjf1947

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Re: Adagio
« Reply #4 on: June 14, 2018, 08:54:45 AM »
I enjoyed your adagio, and I think it is worth expanding into a finished piece. Your harmonic procedures work to give it an elegiac, a bit funereal feeling.  The percussion in the central section evokes music that might be used in a military funeral -is that what you intended?

-Jay

Jay ... my intent in the mid section is to create the mood of a funeral procession.  Thanks for the encouragement .... I will devote some more time into  the work. 

Mark

mjf1947

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Re: Adagio
« Reply #5 on: June 14, 2018, 02:04:10 PM »
For those interested in this thread .... his a bit more work on the piece.

Comments/feedback always appreciated.

I feel the work is beginning to come together.

I will be giving some thought on the transition from theme A to theme B.

Mark

PS: Please note this is a chamber orchestra .... I neglected to specify before ....one woodwind and brass instrument.
« Last Edit: June 14, 2018, 02:08:51 PM by mjf1947 »

Michel.R.E

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Re: Adagio
« Reply #6 on: June 14, 2018, 03:57:11 PM »
PS: Please note this is a chamber orchestra .... I neglected to specify before ....one woodwind and brass instrument.

the orchestration won't work. (well, it could but only with great mastery)
write it for more realistic forces. remove the trombone and tuba. put 2 bassoons and 2 clarinets at minimum.
or else the whole thing will just sound too sparse and disconnected.
"Writing music to be revolutionary is like cooking to be famous: Music’s main function is not revolution. – Alan Belkin "

"Saying something new about something old is still saying something new. – Jamie Kowalski"

mjf1947

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Re: Adagio
« Reply #7 on: June 15, 2018, 10:47:08 AM »
Okay ...once again for those interested in this thread.  His a newer version with improvements ... new orchestration -  the trombone and tuba are no longer in the score.  There are harmonic fixes and better transitions.

Mark

PS:  I am working on the version suggested by Michel 2 clarinet and bassoons.  Will post soon.
« Last Edit: June 15, 2018, 03:58:58 PM by mjf1947 »

mjf1947

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Re: Adagio
« Reply #8 on: June 16, 2018, 06:19:10 AM »
Okay .... here's the full orchestrated version for those following this thread.

It's definitely more lush .............

Mark

PS: Definitely needs to be developed a bit more ... ends to soon! :o
« Last Edit: June 16, 2018, 11:22:03 AM by mjf1947 »

whitebark

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Re: Adagio
« Reply #9 on: June 16, 2018, 10:34:35 PM »
The new version is definitely more lush sounding with the improved wind orchestration. It's worth expanding to three minutes or more by developing your themes. Structurally, your piece seems to be heading toward an ABA form. Perhaps the center section, the slow march with the percussion, could be more well defined with a key change?

Jay

mjf1947

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Re: Adagio
« Reply #10 on: June 17, 2018, 08:22:44 AM »
Thanks for the suggestions ...

I already expanded the ending  ................  the previous versions felt a bit to abrupt.

I'll see about the key change ............

Thanks.............

Happy Father's Day for all you Dads out there.  :angel:

Mark
« Last Edit: June 17, 2018, 10:42:08 AM by mjf1947 »

Jerry Engelbach

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Re: Adagio
« Reply #11 on: June 18, 2018, 09:56:58 AM »
Mark,
 
That is really pretty. Lovely melody and colorful instrument combinations.
 
The pizz bass and the stop-start of the rhythm are very effective.
 
Cheers,
Jer
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mjf1947

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Re: Adagio
« Reply #12 on: June 18, 2018, 10:56:15 AM »
Mark,
 
That is really pretty. Lovely melody and colorful instrument combinations.
 
The pizz bass and the stop-start of the rhythm are very effective.
 
Cheers,
Jer

Thank you ....

Still reviewing the work ....

I'll leave it for a few days and give it another look.

It's a solemn procession ............. maybe expand it.

Mark

AO

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Re: Adagio
« Reply #13 on: July 04, 2018, 11:07:26 AM »
Good work Mark, I was going to say the tambourine was bugging me but I guess you had the same feeling and dropped it. I'm curious if you where intending a tambourine shake at that point, I always have difficulty with finale and how the tambourine plays back.

Gillespie

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Re: Adagio
« Reply #14 on: July 05, 2018, 05:00:00 AM »
I enjoyed listening to the 6-18-18 version.  I also liked the brass quartet section in the middle of the original version in your first post.