Author Topic: Why I Sometimes React the Way I Do.  (Read 6240 times)

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Ron

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Re: Why I Sometimes React the Way I Do.
« Reply #15 on: November 18, 2011, 09:00:45 AM »
Djard,

You appear to have misunderstood my intent, but, that frequently happens to me. I realized that you were trying to be helpful and, if truth be told, I've been thinking seriously about some of your comments.  As I said in my last post here: "All I can promise is that I try."

I enjoy the exchanges with you. You're obviously very well educated and articulate.

Don't let Michel's "bluntness" cause you concern. He is actually a very loving and generous person who I am proud to call my friend.
Ron
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Djard

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Re: Why I Sometimes React the Way I Do.
« Reply #16 on: November 18, 2011, 12:42:18 PM »
Thank you Michel.

But I do believe in the paradox that education can equip one to advance even more grandly damaging ignorance. Stephen Hawking comes to mind.

Patrick O'Keefe

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Re: Why I Sometimes React the Way I Do.
« Reply #17 on: November 18, 2011, 01:06:49 PM »
But I do believe in the paradox that education can equip one to advance even more grandly damaging ignorance. Stephen Hawking comes to mind.
I realize this is going to go way off-topic, but in what way does Stephen Hawking come to mind?  He is somehow an example of "grandly damaging ignorance"? 

Djard

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Re: Why I Sometimes React the Way I Do.
« Reply #18 on: November 18, 2011, 02:27:05 PM »
We have a lot of intellectually curious folks at this forum. Very refreshing.

I'd like to comment on Mephisto's footnote: "Nothing is black nor white. Everything is gray. The only question is which shade of gray...".

Looking at the keys on my piano, I have difficulty understanding the statement, which, by extension, indicates the author's schema is diametrically opposed to belief in absolutes. To those who reject the existence of absolutes, I can't help asking, "Are you absolutely sure?"

Please understand that I'm not attempting to be polemic...just hoping for some stimulating conversation.

Djard

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Re: Why I Sometimes React the Way I Do.
« Reply #19 on: November 20, 2011, 12:56:43 PM »
Ron, I think this forum might have a bug: not all my responses appear in the thread; yet when I click on the "Reply" icon, up comes the response that I tried to post, along with all the others. Any idea what might be happening? I hope this message appears in the thread.

Ron

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Re: Why I Sometimes React the Way I Do.
« Reply #20 on: November 20, 2011, 03:26:18 PM »
Ron, I think this forum might have a bug: not all my responses appear in the thread; yet when I click on the "Reply" icon, up comes the response that I tried to post, along with all the others. Any idea what might be happening? I hope this message appears in the thread.

I have no idea why the forum appears to be operating like that for you. I haven't run into similar problems. Has anyone else?
Ron
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Djard

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Re: Why I Sometimes React the Way I Do.
« Reply #21 on: November 21, 2011, 12:59:05 PM »
Actually nobody has the power to make us happy or angry.

We experience only two types of feelings, physical and emotional. If struck with a fist by somebody then that individual is responsible for our physical discomfort. If somebody behaves in a disrespectful manner toward us then that person is guilty of his sin; but he is not responsible for any emotional reaction we might experience subsequent to his negative behavior. Adults are always responsible for their emotions. Now I must admit that I'm not always successful in accepting the responsibility for how I feel when engaging a disageeable person: I tend to forget that the difference between an argument and a debate is that an argument is an exchange of opinion, while a debate is an exchange of fact. Debating someone who does not possess the facts usually leads to frustration.

The lyrics to almost every song on the radio; the text of virtually every book and magazine; and the dialogue in practically every movie and TV show has inculcated us since childhood with the irrational belief that others are responsible for our feelings. So a person can be intellectually mature, emotionally a child, and spiritually an infant.

Is the comedian funny...able to make you laugh? If your thinking is concrete, you will say no. If you catch his wit, you will say yes. The comedian has no power over your hypothalamus. Ask yourself if the words of a base person actually "upset" you or do you react emotionally because you lack the coping skill necessary to be above the foolishness? Pride dictates that the other person is certainly to blame. Humility allows us to recognize we still have some growing to do. Is the pedantic forum poster annoying or is the reader incapable of understanding why the poster has a need to be pedantic. Understanding and insight move us from the role of victim to problem-solver: you won't be unhappy when able to be cope. Assuming the defensive role of critical judge over the less educated is very seductive.

The danger of blaming others for our anger is stunting of emotional maturity. "Why should I change...he's in the wrong" is a trap into which most fall. Doubtless that we can unfailingly respond instead of react, but we can resist pride and reduce the delay of emotional and spiritual growth. I'd much rather be at peace tolerating human frailty than suffer the stress of reacting to it. Being able to rise above what we don't like or don't understand is a greater asset than being able to extinguishing it. Hitler routinely chose the latter.

The next time someone acts in a negative manner and you sense that familiar feeling of anger rising within, ask yourself "What is it that I don't understand here?" Then exercise the coping skill of examining the possibilities: instead of, "What a jerk," try "Maybe he's emotionally insecure and has a need to impress." The more "maybes" you can employ, the more control over anger you will enjoy. This option will also reduce the level of norepinephrine in your bloodstream that damages the cardiovascular system. (Anger is the leading cause of heart disease.)

Sorry for the long post.

Michel.R.E

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Re: Why I Sometimes React the Way I Do.
« Reply #22 on: July 13, 2013, 10:32:43 AM »
this thread is actually sort of funny.. in a sad way.
Djard, who preferred leaving the forum than actually discussing any of the issues brought up regarding his statements, is a case in point.

He ended up making all-encompassing pronouncements regarding music, that were entirely based upon a complete lack of understanding of the sources he was citing.

And his defensive response was to bring up his credentials... which, as we can read in this thread, have absolutely nothing to do with music.

"Writing music to be revolutionary is like cooking to be famous: Music’s main function is not revolution. – Alan Belkin "

"Saying something new about something old is still saying something new. – Jamie Kowalski"

Jamie Kowalski

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Re: Why I Sometimes React the Way I Do.
« Reply #23 on: July 14, 2013, 07:51:49 AM »
On the internet, everyone's an expert on everything.   ::)