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Works in Progress: Junior / Homily - Trio Oboe Horn Cello
« Last post by mjf1947 on Yesterday at 07:32:41 PM »
Hi all,

Here's an idea I just  began working on  ....

Comments appreciated.  First draft .....

Mark

Working my way through recovery............ :angel:
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Completed Works: Junior / Re: Piano Sonata in Eb
« Last post by Jerry Engelbach on Yesterday at 10:15:44 AM »
hk106,
 
You've summarized very nicely.
 
All the best for an ambitious project.
 
Cheers,
Jer
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Completed Works: Junior / Re: Piano Sonata in Eb
« Last post by hk106 on Yesterday at 08:53:52 AM »
Thank you both for taking the time to listen, and for providing such excellent feedback!  This is exactly the sort of constructive criticism I hoped for when I began posting my works to this forum.  :)

It sounds like these are the most prominent criticisms, as they were mentioned by both of you.  Please correct me if I'm misinterpreting:

1) There is too much stylistic variety, ranging from sounding Beethoven-esque to Prokofiev-esque (with mentions of Chopin and Brahms as well).  A more focused musical language would improve the sense of unity and cohesion in the piece.

2) The melodies range from forgettable to nonexistent, making it difficult to follow motivic transformation.

In addition, there are criticisms related to poor textural flow, dramatic shifts that come out of nowhere, and some harmonic awkwardness (thank you Jerry for the specific examples from the score, this is awesome!).

You've both given me a lot to think about, and I greatly appreciate the time you took to listen and provide your observations.  :)
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Works in Progress: Senior / Re: "Bantering Brass," brass quintet, Grade 3
« Last post by gogreen on May 19, 2018, 12:11:02 PM »
Thanks, RJB54.
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Completed Works: Junior / Re: Piano Sonata in Eb
« Last post by Jerry Engelbach on May 19, 2018, 09:59:56 AM »
HK106,
 
I listened to the whole thing and followed the score, and Mark's two cents applies to the whole dime.
 
It felt to me like a conscious effort to write in the style of Beethoven. But not always. The opening of the third movement, for example, felt a little like Prokofiev.
 
The themes need to be more clearly stated. The second movement, especially, felt as if it were plodding along with no particular purpose, until of course, the impossibly fast section, which was skillfully done but struck me as out of place. Kind of Chopinesque, I thought.
 
It needs melodies that one can retain so that when they are transformed we can feel the change. Along with this, the textures of the chords have to be more carefully balanced. The textures sometimes seem to change somewhat haphazardly from measure to measure.
 
I appreciate your trying to put drama into the piece, for example with long pauses and then dramatic single notes. But the drama has to be prepared so that we expect it. It's not enough to just have a full stop: the harmony and rhythm have to say with more emphasis that there's more to come.
 
There are a number of places where the melody and harmony didn't seem to mesh. For example, in bar 6 of movement 2 you have a G dim chord held for the whole bar, including an A#, and the melody moves to B natural, a harsh conflict with the A#.
 
In bars 13-14 the left-hand melody goes from G to A, then jumps up a minor seventh to a G, which is already present in the right hand. I think it would be stronger if the right hand were only playing C-D, which would make the appearance of the G in the left hand more prominent. This is just one example where texture could be improved.
 
I'm impressed by the amount of work you did and the skill you put into it. What it needs is more stylist unity and clarity. I think Beethoven's Pathetique sonata is a good model for all the elements I mentioned: melody, texture, drama, clarity.
 
Cheers,
Jer
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Works in Progress: Senior / Re: Songs for "Woyzeck"
« Last post by Jerry Engelbach on May 19, 2018, 08:47:32 AM »
Thanks so much, Robert.

In the past I was very much into both Büchner and Brecht, as well as Frank Wedekind. Of course, I don't speak any German.

I can see that there is a (completely unintended) resemblance to Weill, although he was harmonically much more adventurous.

I'm slowly learning orchestration, and revising earlier work that I posted, so I don't know when I'll get to this one. I don't want it to be just orchestrations of individual discrete songs, but a unified piece with the songs weaving in and out.

Cheers,
Jer
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Works in Progress: Senior / Re: "Bantering Brass," brass quintet, Grade 3
« Last post by RJB54 on May 19, 2018, 08:12:46 AM »
As other have said this is a nice enjoyable piece that I'm sure students would have fun playing.
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Works in Progress: Senior / Re: Songs for "Woyzeck"
« Last post by RJB54 on May 19, 2018, 08:06:21 AM »
Excellent!

As Mark mentioned it sounds more like Weill than Berg which is appropriate as Brecht's approach to theater was influenced by Buchner.

I look forward to hearing the orchestral version.

Yes, frequently the lyrics are smoothed out when translated into English and are made much more PG13. I recently saw a production of Threepenny Opera and they changed the bowdlerized Broadway lyrics even more to remove even more of the sexual content and profanity to the degree that the dramatic point of some it was actually eliminated.
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Completed Works: Junior / Re: Piano Sonata in Eb
« Last post by mjf1947 on May 19, 2018, 07:39:14 AM »
Hi and welcome ..............

A very ambitious undertaking....... :)

I just listened to the first movement.  My reaction is that you present lots of different "styles" throughout the composition ... which is interesting; yet I feel distracts from a unifying overall thematic feel.  I hear bits of Brahms in the opening , lots of Beethoven etc.   

I feel  .... a bit more focus on the main theme, development and variations I feel would present a stronger statement.

My two cents.

Mark
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Completed Works: Junior / Piano Sonata in Eb
« Last post by hk106 on May 18, 2018, 07:13:52 PM »
Hi there!

I've completed my fifth piano sonata and would appreciate any feedback on it from the wise folks of this forum.

The sonata contains three movements. 

The first movement is in sonata form, and it includes a brief introduction (which also briefly re-emerges in the coda).  The first subject is lighthearted and playful, while the second subject is more tender and lyrical. 

The second movement is in ternary form, with a leisurely and peaceful outer section punctuated by a frenetic and agitated central trio. 

The finale is also in ternary form, with a manic and spirited outer section contrasting with a serene and reflective central section.

First Movement: https://soundcloud.com/user-871866847/piano-sonata-no-5-in-eb-i-un-poco-moderato-allegro-vivace
Second Movement: https://soundcloud.com/user-871866847/piano-sonata-no-5-in-eb-ii-largo-sostenuto-prestissimo
Third Movement: https://soundcloud.com/user-871866847/piano-sonata-no-5-in-eb-iii-presto-animato

The sheet music is attached.  You'll almost certainly find numerous issues with the notation, but the sheet music was not intended for performance, just for Finale playback.

Thank you!
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