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Works in Progress: Junior / Re: Brass Quintet
« Last post by mjf1947 on Yesterday at 06:31:01 PM »

Mark, some thoughts.

I like the first and last part of the piece. Except for bar 7. I think the triplets stops the nice flow you have in the music. Or maybe my ears need the first beat in that bar. Itís tied to the 8th note in the previous bar and that makes that bar a little strange to me.

I also think it stops a bit before bar 22. Need some forward movement perhaps.

To me itís the small things that make the music interesting.  Not just a nice melody. The movement in Trombone in bar 2 and that it reappears in the Horn part in bar 4 is very nice and the D in Tuba in bar 25 is a fine example on how to move the music forward.

Very nice. 

Morten

Morton thanks so much for your critic.

As I said in the previous post .... my intent was to carry over the motif from the beginning of the work.  I'll take another look at it.

As for measure 22 .... I added some forward movement in the trombone part.

Thanks again for following the thread.  I know some forum embers enjoy seeing a work develop over time.

Hopefully I will meet with my mentor this Saturday and we can review the new version of the work.  I already made changes to the mid-section to tighten up the initial flow ...actually deleted 4 superfluous measures to better state the main theme and texture.

Mark
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Works in Progress: Junior / Re: Brass Quintet
« Last post by mjf1947 on Yesterday at 06:18:12 PM »
Mark,
 
The piece is quite lovely.
 
I have a couple more reactions.
 
Some of the triplets sound muddy to me, especially bars 7 and 13 and throughout the middle section. I don't feel a clearly defined rhythm on them.
 
Bar 16 feels to me like it should be a full stop rather than continuing the bass line. Perhaps just a half note followed by one pickup note for the next bar.
 
On 66 and 67 you have a nice little fanfare thing on Tpt 1 and Hn. The descending line on Tpt 2 feels to me like it's in the way.
 
Cheers,
Jer

Jer thanks for taking the time to critic the work.

The reason I put the quarter note triplets in "play" was to attempt to carry the beginning motif through the harmonic transition.  Did I fail in this matter?  Or did I just handle it poorly?

I agree that the bass line in measure 16 can be changed to a half note.

Although, I am not in total agreement with the ending fanfare suggestion.   The measures with out the descending eighth note line lacks texture and feels empty; unless I find another substitution/idea for those  measures.  I need to play with it a bit and see.

Again thanks for hanging in there with me.  Ir's a great learning experience.

Mark
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Works in Progress: Junior / Re: Brass Quintet
« Last post by mjw58 on Yesterday at 03:57:33 PM »

Mark, some thoughts.

I like the first and last part of the piece. Except for bar 7. I think the triplets stops the nice flow you have in the music. Or maybe my ears need the first beat in that bar. Itís tied to the 8th note in the previous bar and that makes that bar a little strange to me.

I also think it stops a bit before bar 22. Need some forward movement perhaps.

To me itís the small things that make the music interesting.  Not just a nice melody. The movement in Trombone in bar 2 and that it reappears in the Horn part in bar 4 is very nice and the D in Tuba in bar 25 is a fine example on how to move the music forward.

Very nice. 

Morten
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Works in Progress: Junior / Re: Brass Quintet
« Last post by Jerry Engelbach on Yesterday at 02:20:32 PM »
Mark,
 
The piece is quite lovely.
 
I have a couple more reactions.
 
Some of the triplets sound muddy to me, especially bars 7 and 13 and throughout the middle section. I don't feel a clearly defined rhythm on them.
 
Bar 16 feels to me like it should be a full stop rather than continuing the bass line. Perhaps just a half note followed by one pickup note for the next bar.
 
On 66 and 67 you have a nice little fanfare thing on Tpt 1 and Hn. The descending line on Tpt 2 feels to me like it's in the way.
 
Cheers,
Jer
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Completed Works: Senior / Re: Reflexions album
« Last post by Jerry Engelbach on Yesterday at 02:00:32 PM »

Regarding the destiny of this music, except for the taste thing 😀, I have been thinking about it as a music for a contemporary ballet.
Would you think that it might be a worthy idea to consider?

Sure, why not?
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Works in Progress: Junior / Re: Brass Quintet
« Last post by mjf1947 on Yesterday at 11:03:00 AM »
Your brass quintet is coming along nicely, Mark.   I like the first part of the piece (about the first minute or so). Nice melody and chord changes.  Of course the same applies to the final section.

The middle section is nice, too, but seems to ramble a bit. I found myself wanting to hear more structure. You could make it more of a march ( with a driving beat) to move things along.

Jay

Thanks Jay ... yes I am now focused on the mid-section.  I am thinking about removing some extraneous motifs  .... and creating a more unified section.  I need to focus of the moving bass .... and concurrent harmonic movement.  Let's see what comes about with my next meeting with my mentor.  Hard work indeed!

Mark

PS: Jay and all....I already made improvements ....  ;D
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Works in Progress: Junior / Re: Brass Quintet
« Last post by whitebark on Yesterday at 10:40:31 AM »
Your brass quintet is coming along nicely, Mark.   I like the first part of the piece (about the first minute or so). Nice melody and chord changes.  Of course the same applies to the final section.

The middle section is nice, too, but seems to ramble a bit. I found myself wanting to hear more structure. You could make it more of a march ( with a driving beat) to move things along.

Jay

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Completed Works: Junior / Re: Remember-Solo Bb Cornet
« Last post by Jerry Engelbach on March 20, 2019, 11:16:16 AM »
I agree with Ron.
 
You get a theme going in the first 6 bars.
 
Then you start a counter theme in the next bar that sounds like it's going to proceed downwards and back to the tonic, but it takes off somewhere else.
 
I would follow through on that downward pattern to the tonic, and then take off from there.
 
Cheers,
Jer
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Works in Progress: Senior / Re: Variations for Strings in A Minor
« Last post by whitebark on March 20, 2019, 11:11:05 AM »
Michel, thanks for the detailed response.

 I'll definitely go through the piece and fix the notation of syncopations.

Yes, the fugue could use another episode and exposition section to make it feel complete. Composing the current version gave me a headache at times - wrestling with the counterpoint was hard work! I'm not sure I'm ready to add onto the fugue yet. Soon perhaps....

Agreed, variation V with the violin triplets is disjointed and needs work.

I'll rework the Theme and first two variations to make things work better.  I'll rewrite Variation I to make it more interesting and distinctive.

-Jay



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Works in Progress: Senior / Re: Variations for Strings in A Minor
« Last post by whitebark on March 20, 2019, 10:43:06 AM »
like me some drama and Sturm Und Drang.

Thanks for listening, Robert.  One reason I added the fugue was to provide a bit more excitement.  I'll rework the first variation to make it more interesting.

-Jay
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