Author Topic: I Am Snow (Falling Gently): a song  (Read 531 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Ron

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2,587
  • Karma: 185
  • Finale Beta Tester
    • The Music of Ronald J Brown
I Am Snow (Falling Gently): a song
« on: February 19, 2017, 07:01:46 AM »
A old theme in poetry: loss of innocence. Enjoy.
Ron
Administrator Compose Forums

Rules are for people who have no understanding of music, so they invent something to mask their ignorance.

RJB54

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 953
  • Karma: 41
Re: I Am Snow (Falling Gently): a song
« Reply #1 on: February 20, 2017, 06:57:53 AM »
Another excellent song. Very evocative. I really liked the tone of the music.
Information is not knowledge. Knowledge is not wisdom. Wisdom is not truth. Truth is not beauty. Beauty is not love. Love is not music. Music is THE BEST.
Frank Zappa

Ron

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2,587
  • Karma: 185
  • Finale Beta Tester
    • The Music of Ronald J Brown
Re: I Am Snow (Falling Gently): a song
« Reply #2 on: February 20, 2017, 07:18:51 AM »
Thanks!
Ron
Administrator Compose Forums

Rules are for people who have no understanding of music, so they invent something to mask their ignorance.

Michel.R.E

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4,462
  • Karma: 221
  • B.FA (composition) M.Mus (composition)
    • Les Éditions du Dos Blanc
Re: I Am Snow (Falling Gently): a song
« Reply #3 on: February 20, 2017, 09:16:06 AM »
I like the song very much. It really won't sound the same with a real pianist at the piano, not as clunky as Finale's playback.

There's only one thing that bothers me: there are a few spots where the prosody doesn't really satisfy me.
I'll give you one example, and I think the rest are the same musical spot repeated.

the line "on whatever lies beneath the sky" (mm 8-10), while I understand the desire to repeat the syncopated short-long rhythm of the opening line (which works wonderfully, by the way, on"falling, gently"), I don't think it works to the text's advantage at measure 8-10.

I would have heard the word "On" be long (2 beats), then "whatever" take up 2 beats (quarter, eighth, eighth).

The really troubling part however comes at measure 9.
"lies beneath the sky".
You've emphasized the word "the", and it seems awkward. First off, it's an unattractive syllable to sing on a long note. It's just an article, and as such carries considerably less descriptive weight in the phrase. But "lies" and "beneath" and "sky" are more important words to the sense of the phrase. The first word, "lies", you've given a nice beat and a half to; likewise, the last word "sky".
But then you short-change "beneath" by giving it that syncopated rhythm and making it overall a short value, followed by that long "thuuuuuuuuh".

If we were meeting face-to-face I could explain this and demonstrate much more easily.
"Writing music to be revolutionary is like cooking to be famous: Music’s main function is not revolution. – Alan Belkin "

"Saying something new about something old is still saying something new. – Jamie Kowalski"

Ron

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2,587
  • Karma: 185
  • Finale Beta Tester
    • The Music of Ronald J Brown
Re: I Am Snow (Falling Gently): a song
« Reply #4 on: February 20, 2017, 10:20:01 AM »
Thanks, Michel. As usually, helpful. I will take a serious long look at your suggestions.
Ron
Administrator Compose Forums

Rules are for people who have no understanding of music, so they invent something to mask their ignorance.

Ron

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2,587
  • Karma: 185
  • Finale Beta Tester
    • The Music of Ronald J Brown
Re: I Am Snow (Falling Gently): a song
« Reply #5 on: February 23, 2017, 06:46:32 AM »
I understand what you are saying Michel, but I am stymied. If I make the changes to the musical rhythm you suggest, it destroys the integrity of the music. If I change the words to put stressed syllables on stressed notes, it destroys the poetic integrity. This is going to have to percolate for a long time. Meanwhile, I am seriously distracted by our looming moving day (next Wednesday) and last minute calls from lawyers about discrepancies in the agreements.
Ron
Administrator Compose Forums

Rules are for people who have no understanding of music, so they invent something to mask their ignorance.