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bear
Silver Member
USA
117 Posts |
 Posted - 10 March 2010 : 12:04:57 PM
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this is something that I am working on that has a weird orchestration: 3 clarinets, bass clarinet, oboe and horn. I first got the idea for an accordion but added the oboe and horn part after it.
I don't think this combination is acceptable but i wanted so other timbre other than the clarinets. Question is, doesn it work?
I do have questions about the accompaniment. To me, it seems to dull. i have a tendency to have too many notes and am trying to learn to economize. At some point, i have to add something else in the accompaniment, any suggestions?
I am attaching a Finale 2010 file and PDF. For some reason, i can't upload the midi file, I keep on getting an error message.
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bear
Silver Member
USA
117 Posts |
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mjf1947
Silver Member
USA
322 Posts |
Posted - 10 March 2010 : 1:02:40 PM
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Bear,
I am not a composition expert as others on the forum; however, here are some comments to the music:
The piece seems not to have a tonal center - it floats unanchored - without resolution - beginning and/or end. Of course the notation - at the end has all those empty measures which must be deleted. The ending with the lone Oboe - is very incomplete.
The music at times does have an interesting beat.
Mark |
Edited by - mjf1947 on 10 March 2010 1:19:13 PM |
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bear
Silver Member
USA
117 Posts |
Posted - 10 March 2010 : 1:19:24 PM
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Thanks Mark for your comments.
The lone oboe is where I need to pick it up and finish - it is unfinished at that point. I'm not quite sure where to take it at this point.
Where the oboe ends is my question: I have the ump-pa-pa that i have a straight chords. this is what I am questioning.
What do you mean by a tonal center? the first few measures are in the minor key that it quickly shifts to the relative major and back again. |
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mjf1947
Silver Member
USA
322 Posts |
Posted - 10 March 2010 : 2:51:30 PM
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Bear,
I don't experience a cohesiveness to the work - that's what I mean by unachored.
But more experienced experts might be able to explain it better than me.
Mark |
Edited by - mjf1947 on 10 March 2010 2:52:42 PM |
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bear
Silver Member
USA
117 Posts |
Posted - 10 March 2010 : 3:57:04 PM
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| Ah, I see you point. It is an experimentation. I'm trying to get out of the ABA structure. Most of the pieces I've written are ABA and I'm trying to break that pattern. This is why I'm asking for help, if it doesn't work i have to redo so it does. |
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ronan
Administrator
Canada
2103 Posts |
Posted - 11 March 2010 : 04:14:21 AM
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I have to agree with Mark that the work seems rootless. It might help if, at the points you change keys, you had a V - I, a IV - 1 (plagal) or a viidim - I resolution. You need to make the change clear.
Take a look at the first challenge under Beginner's Challenges. It lays out a harmony progression that leaves no doubt as to what key you are in at any given moment. |
Administrator: http://www.composeforums.com |
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bear
Silver Member
USA
117 Posts |
Posted - 11 March 2010 : 10:25:30 AM
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Wow! this totally blows me away!
I've looked at the chord structure and i do see a number I-IV-V-I progesssions in the Key of A . But I can see where I will switch from A to C that it might be to abrupt.
Maybe I should insert a measure or two to establish that i am in A before I switch to C?.
I'll also transpose these parts to piano so I can hear it with any distraction.
I haven't written for instruments other than piano and guitar so this is a first for me. One sunday afternoon I just decided that I would write something for accordion and the result was the piece (minus the parts played by the oboe and horn). I added a melody on top of the clarinets.
I originally had the clarinet play the melody all the way through but I didn't like it. It seemed like it was missing tonal color so I had so i added the oboe and then I added the horn. |
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ronan
Administrator
Canada
2103 Posts |
Posted - 11 March 2010 : 2:48:38 PM
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What I am trying to get at is you need more modulation to different keys. The piece doesn't feel like it is going anywhere, as it keeps coming back to A minor and C major. The smoothest way to go to different keys is by using the cycle of fifths. In other words, go to a key with one more sharp or one more flat, and so on. You could get all the way around to A# minor/C# major this way, but that might be a bit too far for a simple piece. Don't over-complicate it.
If you want to study how a master does it, look at works by JS Bach (maybe the choral preludes). Things have changed since his time, but the basics are the same. I've just found this site that looks like it could be very helpful: http://www.choraleguide.com/ |
Administrator: http://www.composeforums.com |
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bear
Silver Member
USA
117 Posts |
Posted - 11 March 2010 : 4:43:22 PM
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| You're right. I haven't really worked on modulation since I was in college so I'm a little rusty on that. I'll take a look at the website. I could add a few more measures as a bridge to the next idea to give it a smoother transition. |
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Dance
